3 Ways to Help Your Child Catch Their Inner Critic

The first step to changing negative self-talk is noticing it. Kids often don't realize that the harsh voice in their head is just a voice—they think it's the truth. Here are three simple ways to help kids "catch" their inner critic in the act.

1. Give it a Name

In the book, we call it The Commentator. By giving the voice a name, you help your child separate themselves from their thoughts. It's no longer "I am bad at math," it's "The Commentator is telling me I'm bad at math."

2. Notice the "Always" and "Never" Words

The inner critic loves extremes. "I always mess up." "I will never get this right." Teach your child to listen for these extreme words. When they hear them, it's a clue that The Commentator has taken the microphone.

3. The 'Is It Helpful?' Test

When your child shares a negative thought, ask them: "Is that thought helping you right now?" You don't even have to debate if it's true yet. Just asking if it's helpful starts to break the spell of the inner critic.

Remember, the goal isn't to silence the voice completely—that's impossible. The goal is to notice it, check it, and eventually change it. It takes practice, but the earlier kids learn this skill, the more resilient they become.